Take me back

A poem in a series about gray divorce

Photo by Nate Neelson on Unsplash

Take me back
to a time when
we might have tried
again
in spite of ourselves
Before the years, 
squeezed by
bitter pleas,
curled up to die 
on a lonely pillow

We belonged together once,
as much as anyone,
We, us, our 
defined decades
of choosing
silly little things
and each other
You were there  
in the odd hours
now hanging in the air
Empty 
as our four chairs
around the table where 
I barely touch my food

Take me back
to that moment
when everything changed
Stop the tumbling words 
reversing a history 
ripping a life away
Falling into decay
Leaving me astray 
among the women, wandering
in an era of abandoning

And then
she came
And filled you 
in ways 
I never could, apparently
On these words you stood
Your love went cold
you said,
for years,
despite blistering tears
My story died
lack of subtlety 
lost on me, apparently
By your side,
I stayed
Never dared betray
your indifference
Whereas properly informed
I would have found a new way

Now, ejected 
from my home
I’m left to roam 
in obscurity
Remembering the girl
I used to be
Strong-minded.
Not hopelessly blinded  
by false love 
A heart in mourning
But healing
No more enduring deceit
Instead
I’ll take a receipt 
for your withholding 
And all the years
I want to take back



By @offramptobravespaces